Blog Post

Embracing Intimacy: Thriving in Sexually Challenged Marriage

Are you feeling sexually deprived and frustrated? Does your partner no longer show interest in sexual intimacy? Are you feeling rejected and wanting to give up on trying? If this sounds like something you are challenged with in your marriage, keep reading this blog to learn ways on how to thrive despite these challenges. There are strategies and insights to help you and your partner thrive with this common challenge. You are not alone on this journey, we’ve got you!

Helpful Strategies:

  • Open and Honest Communication: The first and most important step is to engage in an open and honest way to share your feelings with your partner. Create a safe space to express these feelings in a loving way without placing blame or judgment on your partner. Be honest about how this challenge is impacting this has on you and your relationship. Express your desires and provide suggestions of things that you both may want to try to bring back your sexual intimacy into your marriage.
  • Understand Root Causes: “We used to engage in sex several times a week and over time it has dwindled to once every few months. What happened?” It imperative to understand the underlying reasons behind the lack of sexual intimacy. Reasons can range from physical discomfort, hormonal imbalances, inability to perform, to emotional factors such as stress, trauma, and relational dynamics. Gaining an understanding of the root causes can help partners address them effectively and likely find solutions.
  • Emotional Intimacy: Sexual intimacy is important but it’s not the only form of intimacy in a marriage. There are other ways to feel close to your partner…through intimate conversations, shared activities, appreciation, and acts of kindness. In the absence of sexual activity, focusing on other areas of strength in your relationship will enhance your marital foundation. Keep in mind that sexual intimacy is not required to experience joy and happiness in your relationship. Exploring other ideas on how to strengthen your closeness and connection is key.
  • Alternative Forms of Intimacy: Defining sexual intimacy is important! Some individuals may define it with sexual intercourse being the core action. Yet, others may experience physical intimacy with hugging, kissing, sensual massages, and still feel close and connected to their partner. Be open to trying new things together and talk about your experiences afterwards.
  • Outside the Bedroom: Physical intimacy is one aspect of building a strong marital bond with your partner. There’s more to do together outside the bedroom that may nurture your connection by engaging in shared interests and hobbies. Show appreciation for each other on a regular basis. This may sound like, “I really appreciate how you are caring and loving to everyone around you”.
  • Realistic Expectations: Establishing realistic expectations about sexual intimacy in marriage, especially if there are underlying issues that may take time to resolve is imperative for a healthy relationship. Accepting that progress may be gradual may reduce frustration and pressure on both partners. Consider planning a vacation to get away from external stressors and factors that may be hindering your connection with your partner. The objective here is to rekindle your passion and strengthen the bond between you and your partner.
  • Professional Guidance: Overcoming sexual challenges in your marriage may need additional professional assistance. Couples considering seeking counseling from a qualified sex therapist for support and strategies to address your specific needs shows strength, courage, and commitment that both partners want to enhance their relationship. Marriage counseling has shown positive results in assisting couples towards emotionally, physically, and sexually reconnecting to one another.
  • Self-Care: Prioritizing self-care ensures that you are both mentally, emotionally, and physically healthy. Some ideas include engaging in exercise, meditation, yoga, mindfulness exercises, hobbies, volunteering, or seeking individual therapy to address personal issues that may be negatively impacting your marriage. Taking care of yourself and finding joy in your life is likely to have a positive impact on your sexual intimacy.

Need Support?

Our skilled therapists are ready to support you on this challenging journey and help you understand the underlying root causes that has led your marriage to experience a lack of sexual intimacy and explore alternative ways to strengthen your bond despite these challenges.

Please contact our office at 714-617-5955 or schedule an appointment directly through our website: We are here to support you through your journey and to let you know that you are not alone. Our therapists are compassionate and genuinely demonstrate their care.

Counseling for couples and individuals. Serving Tustin, Irvine, Orange, And Across California.

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