Blog Post

Positive Attitude in Marriage

Developing a positive attitude in your marriage will be a GAME CHANGER!! I know this to be true because of my own marital relationship. I am beyond perfect, however when I came to realize that my attitude in my marriage drew me closer to my husband, I focused on this daily. Let’s outline and discuss the steps on how to develop a positive attitude in your marriage.

A clear plan to address your thoughts and words imperative for a successful execution.

  • Thank God every morning for giving you a wonderful husband/wife as His awesome gift to you
  • Ask God to help you see the immense value in your spouse
  • Speak encouraging words to yourself
  • Focus on what God says are true, regardless of how you feel
  • Stop complaining about everything and shift to appreciating your spouse’s strengths
  • Serve your spouse without expecting anything in return
  • Execute caring behaviors
  • Use only kind words when speaking to your spouse


I understand that we are humans and negative emotions are triggered when we feel threatened. This is when the part of your brain called the amygdala is heightened, your alarm is set off and you are ready to attack. When this happens, take a few deep breaths by visualizing in your minds eye (smelling the flowers and blowing out the candles). This strategy will calm your nervous system and give your prefrontal cortex time to logically view the situation. Most of the time, your spouse is not even angry with you, rather it may be something or someone at work that upsets him/her. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt and ask what you can do or say to make them feel better.

To have a loving and successful marriage begins with your attitude because that is something YOU can control. If you continue telling your spouse that he/she must change, it will be a losing battle. Focus on what you can do to bring in joy into your marriage. Over time you will begin to see a shift in your partner’s attitude.

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