Blog Post

Shock Wave: Recovery from Infidelity Couples Therapy

You just found out that your partner has been cheating on you and you feel completely devastated, humiliated, and may want out of your relationship! If this sounds like something you are currently going through, this blog can be a helpful resource and tool for you to discover ways to navigate through this very difficult and challenging period.

The Negative Effects of Secrecy

The worst part of your situation is that you had no idea that this was happening. You begin to reflect on events that may not have made sense back then, but now it is making perfect sense. You think about the time your partner said, “My brother needs help with…. I’ll be back soon”. You don’t question it because you want to support your partner when he/she expresses desire to be there for a family member. However, this pattern continues, and you notice that your partner is constantly out helping this family member. Again, you shrug it off because you want to continue supporting your partner. Now that the cat is out of the bag, you begin to remember suspicious patterns that were brushed aside. It is NOT YOUR FAULT! The first tip this blog will offer is to remind you that you are not to blame for not noticing that something different was happening. You are trustworthy and there was no reason that led you to believe differently. Your partner did not express his/her discontent in the relationship, so why should you think that an affair was active. Again, this is NOT YOUR FAULT!

Is it Possible to Rebuild Trust?

The simple yet difficult answer would be to say, YES! In your current emotional state, you cannot see a way towards this goal. How can you ever be 100% sure that this won’t happen again. You may even be wondering ‘Is my relationship worth the work that it will take to rebuilding trust’? Do yourself a favor and wait to ask yourself this question when you are not emotionally charged. Reflect on your relationship and remind yourself of why you fell in love with your partner. Take time to evaluate your time spent together and remember the good times you had together.

Rebuilding trust is possible, but your biggest question is HOW? Through couples therapy, Nurturing Connections Counseling professional therapists will help guide you through a structured recovery path. We provide specific interventions that will lead you towards how to rebuild trust within your relationship.

Structured Recovery Path

  • Full Disclosure – It’s imperative to engage in an honest and open dialogue where the offending partner acknowledges infidelity. It’s critical to keep the disclosure respectful and avoid explicit sexual details to prevent emotional distress. This is the first step towards healing.
  • Commitment to Change – The offending partner must agree to commit towards a genuine shift in behavior and become completely transparent. This step is crucial towards trust building.
  • Intentions to Reconcile – The offending partner must clearly express why he/she chose to return and make amends. Understanding the intent behind reconciliation will help establish an emotional connection.
  • Defining Consequences – If betrayal continues or reoccurs, understand the consequences. It is important to establish an agreement about what both partners agree with if betrayal were to happen again.
  • Relationship Dynamics – A favorite question that couples have when infidelity occurs is WHY. Take a review of your relationship to uncover how the indiscretion could have occurred. This analysis should be able to strengthen your bond against future temptations.
  • Professional Guidance – Seeking help from skilled therapists in navigating ways to heal from infidelity is indispensable. Experts at Nurturing Connections Counseling offer services for Couples Therapy to provide support and insights needed to emerge stronger from difficult circumstances.


At Nurturing Connections Counseling, we believe that every relationship deserves an opportunity to heal, recover, and grow stronger. We understand that overcoming infidelity is not an easy task and are here to guide you through the process.

Counseling for couples and individuals. Serving Tustin, Irvine, Orange, And Across California.

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